If you’ve ever been the parent of a high needs child, you know how critical it is that they have at least one place that they feel safe. Home is the ideal setting for that type of safety. Today I am going to give you some of my favorite tips for creating a space where my kids can thrive despite the internal struggles they might be facing.
Your Sleeping Place is Sacred
A good quality nights sleep for both you and your child is absolutely essential in making sure that you function at your best each day. More attention should be given to your sleeping space than anything else. In order to achieve this you will need to make sure you have a BED THAT IS COMFORTABLE! A good mattress is a good investment! If you are confused about what kind of mattress to buy you can always stop by our Showhome Furniture Store in Calgary Alberta to get a free consultation and to try out a ton of mattresses!
Get a wake up lamp that instead of going off like an alarm in the morning, gently wakes up your child in the morning with natural sunlight. This helps a high needs child start their day peacefully instead of with the normal stress that being woken up abruptly will do.
Make a bed for your high needs child in your room. I NEVER let my kids sleep in my bed, but if they are afraid or can’t sleep I do let them come into my room in the middle of the night and lie down on a bed that is just for them. This makes them feel safe, and it makes it so I still get my bed!
Create a Space For YOU to Rejuvenate
When you’ve reached the end of your rope, send your high need child on a walk with your partner, or a friend and use this time wisely. I love to have a desk set up in my room where I can sit and write. Writing can really be therapeutic, I recommend getting out that journal and writing down all your emotions and feelings. Take inventory and go forward with what’s working and get rid of what isn’t Journaling helps you focus on positive parts of your child rather on the negative. It’s also a great way to track progress and see how much things are improving, and where things aren’t.
Focus on the Positive
Beginning feelings of high needs Childs can surprise us and even make us feel guilty at first. As we pass milestones that our child ‘should’ be accomplishing, but that they aren’t yet, it can be discouraging. Negative voices fill our minds and it’s easy to think of your child as ‘stubborn’, ‘rude’, and ‘unfocused’. Rather than focus on these kinds of thoughts and words write down things that you absolutely LOVE about your child and write those on notes that you post around the house. Words such as ‘DETERMINED’ or ‘CREATIVE’ or ‘JOYFUL’ will help you remember the positive and refocus your attention on those things.
Your Child Is Unique Make Their Space Unique!
Create a home that caters to their uniqueness. Do they love to curl up and read? Make a special place just for them filled with books and chill sack or a comfortable chair where they can spend their time after school. If they get angry without food, consider making a shelf In the pantry just for them that is stocked with healthy snacks they are allowed to take whenever they want. If your child is easily distracted, make their bedroom a peaceful quiet place with only a few pieces of high quality comfortable furniture, and not too many toys.
Declutter & Be Intentional
Probably one of the most important things to remember when setting up a home for children with high needs is to make sure that EVERYTHING IN THE HOME IS INTENTIONAL. Get rid of extra clothes, extra toys, extra devices. All these things just confuse and cause chaos in the brain of a high needs child. Respect the amazing and unique way their brain functions and make it easier for them to relax and feel safe at home by making home a peaceful, organised and clean place to be.
Go Natural
From your furniture, to your food, to your bedding to your cleaners if you have a high needs child, one of the kindest things you can do is GO NATURAL! Why? Because their bodies and brains are already on overload from the chaotic and toxic world around them. Give them a fighting chance at home by cutting out added sugars, red dyes, poisonous glues that are found in pressboard furniture and synthetic fabrics. Do them a favour and choose a few quality items that are made with solid wood, or all natural products. Both you and them will be grateful to have a break from all the additives they get everywhere else.
Being the parent to a high needs child is hard! Remember not to lose hope, parenting is hard but God choose YOU to be the parent, so you must be qualified. Good luck and try to be positive, it will all pay off in the end!
